So I’m about to go home. Because of this, I’ve been thinking a lot about packing as well as what needs to get done before I leave, as well as what needs to get done once I’m home, and before I come back. Whew! Lots of checklists to create in my head. However, I’m looking forward to being in America for a short while. In fact, here’s my list of things I’m missing.
Things I miss about America and am looking forward to when I return:
Starbucks (I am in want of an iced, non-fat, carmel macciatto like WHOA. Also, there aren’t really coffee houses here or places like coffee houses where you can just meet up with a friend and talk about life. I miss that.)
Chipotle (Because there is little to no Mexican food here. It’s such a staple in the U.S. so it’s strange that there aren’t really any Mexican places here. I mean, Oge has never had a taco. Oh, the tragedy!)
Air conditioning (Although I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would. Strangely, I’ve adjusted to the heat. I’m worried that sleeping in air conditioning is going to make me too cold!)
Hot showers (Most of the time I enjoy my cold showers here, but on cooler nights, the cold showers are not joyful experiences. I’m ready for a nice long, hot shower.)
Driving (I really love getting on the highway, blasting my music, and crusin. I definitely look forward to that when I return. Also, as I cannot drive here, and it’s not really all that safe – especially at night, I can’t really go off by myself. It will be nice to get out on my own, hang out with some friends, and enjoy some freedom.)
Debit Cards (I mean, I still have a debit card here, but I can’t really use it. I’m looking forward to not carrying cash. I’m also looking forward to having an ATM machine to use that won’t charge me fees to take out money. Yes.)
Of course, I’m also absolutely stoked to see my friends and family. My mom asked if I was getting excited to come home, or sad to come home. I think I’m definitely on the excited end, but that’s probably because I know I’m coming right back. If I wasn't coming back so soon… I’d probably be bursting into tears every minute. However, since I am coming back, I’m so excited to see all of you!
I come back to KC on the 25th and then I leave for vacation on the 27th. I will be on vacation until the 4th and then I’ll be in town until the 12th. Then I fly back to Haiti! So lets find some time to get together if you’re one of my KC pals.
Also, I will be preaching at Living Water Christian Church on August 8th at 9:30 and 11:00 a.m. After the second services, there will be a lunch as well as more discussions about Haiti to follow. Beyond that, I will be bringing some Haitian coffee that morning for all who want to try. I hope to see you there! If you want more information/directions and all that jazz, feel free to contact me! Oh, and if you're one of my readers from outside the KC area, then the sermon will be posted online the Monday after I preach it. :) I'll post the link here.
Anyway, I’m off. Busy day today! Couple of meetings, errands to run, shoes for the boys to buy… lots to do!
Beth
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Catch Up
So this is my entry to catch you up on what has happened since I last updated!
First of all, Mike came back. (Hooray!) It is not really fun to run everything by yourself so I was all kinds of happy to have him back. However, because Mike came back, the first 3 days were kind of hectic.
There was a lot of work to do - phone calls to make, e-mails to write, groups to confirm, groups to replace due to cancellations, people to meet with, lists to make, and just general conversations to be had. Whew! We were BUSY.
The night Mike arrived we went through everything that needed to be done and made a list. The next day, we went to the Methodist Children's Home because the COR group was throwing them a party. We got to see the joy on the kids faces as they received some cake and popcorn. Too cute.
However, our party time was cut short because we had to have a long meeting with Boss Weche, who is our site boss for the majority (if not all) of our work sites. Money stuff, new projects, and project updates were all on the agenda. In fact, our meeting went so long that finally we just decided to load up everyone in the van and head back to the Guest House to continue the meeting so the COR group could get to the Baptist Mission. From there, our meeting went on for a while longer before Boss Weche went home around 3 or 3:30.
Towards the end of the meeting, though, it started to rain. After Boss Weche left the Guest House, Mike, Oge, and I watched my boys play soccer in the Guest House driveway. So funny! They had striped down to just shorts or underwear and were running around, slipping and sliding trying to get the ball. I asked why they weren't wearing any clothes and Mike responded, "Because they're smart! They don't want to get their clothes wet!" Good point. Part of what made it funny, though, was McKinley being a show-off. He would do these goofy dances whenever he was happy with a pass or a shot he made. Also, he would "swim" in the puddles which was... one of the strangest, most adorable things I have seen in a while. Anyway, I got video of it because it was too hilarious. When I return home hopefully I can post some of it.
On Saturday (yesterday) we traveled to Mellier in the morning to check on that work site. It looks awesome but there were two temporary buildings there set up by another organization that we had no idea about. So that was interesting. While we were there, Mike also met with some of the workers as they told him some of their concerns. It's always good to get the workers point of view and to try to better understand what they believe their needs are.
After that, Oge, Mike, and I went to Carrefour Manse. It's a pastor's home that we will soon be repairing... we think. It has a yellow marker outside, which means that it can't be lived in, but it can be fixed. However, looking at the damage there, we were weary of it. Beyond that, it looks like there's a LOT of work to be done. Hopefully we can figure out a way to help, though, so that it's livable soon.
Once we returned back to the Guest House, though, is when I got sick. I ate some lunch but then I just felt terrible all of the sudden. I went to lie down for a "short while" and ended up sleeping for two hours - even missing the initial dinner bell. Luckily, Donette came and woke me up, which I was appreciative of. I took it easy for the rest of the night and tried to get myself healthy again.
However, when I woke up this morning, I was still feeling ill. This was very sad because we were going to go to church (where there was going to be a party) and then to the beach for the last weekend before I go home. I didn't go, though. Instead, I rested most of the morning and had my own devotion/worship time in the quiet of my room.
Other than that, I've mostly been resting today. Taking it easy and taking some meds to get me back to 100%. Mike thinks it may have been minor heat exhaustion because it's been so warm and humid here lately. It's certainly possible. It's also possible, though, that one of the boys got me sick, or something else. You can never quite tell what makes you sick in Haiti.
Anyway, I'm hoping that Donette, Ablamy, and Mike return from their outing soon so I can eat dinner. No one was coming to the Guest House tonight until late so no dinner was made. Sad day. Luckily, I have 3 friends willing to take care of me and bring me a cheeseburger from the Epid'or. Thank you, Jesus.
Sending Haiti hugs your way,
Beth
P.S. On August 9th I will be preaching and then speaking about Haiti after worship at Living Water Christian Church in Parkville, MO. If you're at all interested in hearing more about Haiti, eating a good lunch, and drinking Haitian coffee, then I hope to see you there! If you need directions or more information, you know how to contact me. :)
First of all, Mike came back. (Hooray!) It is not really fun to run everything by yourself so I was all kinds of happy to have him back. However, because Mike came back, the first 3 days were kind of hectic.
There was a lot of work to do - phone calls to make, e-mails to write, groups to confirm, groups to replace due to cancellations, people to meet with, lists to make, and just general conversations to be had. Whew! We were BUSY.
The night Mike arrived we went through everything that needed to be done and made a list. The next day, we went to the Methodist Children's Home because the COR group was throwing them a party. We got to see the joy on the kids faces as they received some cake and popcorn. Too cute.
However, our party time was cut short because we had to have a long meeting with Boss Weche, who is our site boss for the majority (if not all) of our work sites. Money stuff, new projects, and project updates were all on the agenda. In fact, our meeting went so long that finally we just decided to load up everyone in the van and head back to the Guest House to continue the meeting so the COR group could get to the Baptist Mission. From there, our meeting went on for a while longer before Boss Weche went home around 3 or 3:30.
Towards the end of the meeting, though, it started to rain. After Boss Weche left the Guest House, Mike, Oge, and I watched my boys play soccer in the Guest House driveway. So funny! They had striped down to just shorts or underwear and were running around, slipping and sliding trying to get the ball. I asked why they weren't wearing any clothes and Mike responded, "Because they're smart! They don't want to get their clothes wet!" Good point. Part of what made it funny, though, was McKinley being a show-off. He would do these goofy dances whenever he was happy with a pass or a shot he made. Also, he would "swim" in the puddles which was... one of the strangest, most adorable things I have seen in a while. Anyway, I got video of it because it was too hilarious. When I return home hopefully I can post some of it.
On Saturday (yesterday) we traveled to Mellier in the morning to check on that work site. It looks awesome but there were two temporary buildings there set up by another organization that we had no idea about. So that was interesting. While we were there, Mike also met with some of the workers as they told him some of their concerns. It's always good to get the workers point of view and to try to better understand what they believe their needs are.
After that, Oge, Mike, and I went to Carrefour Manse. It's a pastor's home that we will soon be repairing... we think. It has a yellow marker outside, which means that it can't be lived in, but it can be fixed. However, looking at the damage there, we were weary of it. Beyond that, it looks like there's a LOT of work to be done. Hopefully we can figure out a way to help, though, so that it's livable soon.
Once we returned back to the Guest House, though, is when I got sick. I ate some lunch but then I just felt terrible all of the sudden. I went to lie down for a "short while" and ended up sleeping for two hours - even missing the initial dinner bell. Luckily, Donette came and woke me up, which I was appreciative of. I took it easy for the rest of the night and tried to get myself healthy again.
However, when I woke up this morning, I was still feeling ill. This was very sad because we were going to go to church (where there was going to be a party) and then to the beach for the last weekend before I go home. I didn't go, though. Instead, I rested most of the morning and had my own devotion/worship time in the quiet of my room.
Other than that, I've mostly been resting today. Taking it easy and taking some meds to get me back to 100%. Mike thinks it may have been minor heat exhaustion because it's been so warm and humid here lately. It's certainly possible. It's also possible, though, that one of the boys got me sick, or something else. You can never quite tell what makes you sick in Haiti.
Anyway, I'm hoping that Donette, Ablamy, and Mike return from their outing soon so I can eat dinner. No one was coming to the Guest House tonight until late so no dinner was made. Sad day. Luckily, I have 3 friends willing to take care of me and bring me a cheeseburger from the Epid'or. Thank you, Jesus.
Sending Haiti hugs your way,
Beth
P.S. On August 9th I will be preaching and then speaking about Haiti after worship at Living Water Christian Church in Parkville, MO. If you're at all interested in hearing more about Haiti, eating a good lunch, and drinking Haitian coffee, then I hope to see you there! If you need directions or more information, you know how to contact me. :)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Instability
Here's a bit of a profile (if you will) on my boys:
The daily routine for my boys goes something like this. They wake up nice and early, generally around 5:30 I'm guessing and either hang out at their tent or come by my door to say hello and tell me good morning. After that they either go to school or hang out for a while. Most go to school in the mornings, but some go in the afternoon. All kids in Haiti go for either the morning or afternoon, though. I believe it's generally from 8-12 or 1-4. Some schools (the nicer, more expensive ones) are longer. The vast majority of my boys do not go to these schools. After that they start coming around the Guest House by 2, 3, or 4 p.m. It's very rare if we don't see them before dinner. Some boys aren't around that often, and other boys are around all the time - I think this depends a great amount on family life. I think it also depends on the type of relationship they've built with me, Paste Mike, and Bryan.
Some are fairly rich (by Haitian standards) and some are definitely poor. Stanley and his sister Carly are among the fairly rich ones. They always have nicer clothes, nothing with rips or holes, they've received a noticeably better education than the others, and he's never hungry when the others are starving. It is also obvious that Stanley's mom has a fairly large role in his life and works hard to take good care of him.
Most of my boys are on the poorer spectrum, though. They all go to school, but a good portion of them have holes in their uniforms - which tells me they don't go to a very nice school. The nicer schools won't allow you to attend class if your uniform is dirty or messed up. Also, the others are always asking for things - money, food, water, new shoes, etc. This is (rather obviously) because their parent(s) cannot afford most of these things.
Most of their family lives seem fairly unstable. I found out from Robenson yesterday that he, his brother Peter, and his sister Amanda, have three different last names. Amanda is a baby and I have never seen her father around. I've met Robenson's mother several times, though. I've also been in their tent... there isn't much in there. Just a few pots and pans, some blankets to sleep on, and some clothes. I don't know what Robenson's mom does for a living, but she provides what she can somehow. Actually, she seems to be one of the better mothers. Her two boys are always sweet, joyful, and don't ask for anything unless they really need it. It is obvious that they have been given a lot of love and attention.
The others, though, probably do not get much love or attention at home at all. I think that's why they like hanging around the Guest House so much. We pay attention to them, we give them hugs, we provide for them when we can, and we laugh with them. I know that they receive much joy from their relationship with us. I often reflect on how lucky they are to be in our tent city. I don't imagine that many other tent cities have a Paste Mike or a Beth. I am equally lucky, though. I am so blessed to have many bright, bubbly, loving, lovable boys in my life. I just wish some of their parents would recognize them for the true gems that they are.
That's what's so difficult in Haiti. There is no social security here (as far as I can tell) and so adults almost need to have children so there will be people to look after them when they get older. However, until they become adults, children are often times a great burden for parents. They can be quite expensive to care for, especially if you send them to school. Peterson was telling me today that his secondary school costs approximately $1000 US per year. (And he doesn't even go to one of the really nice schools.)
It's just sad in general how Haiti tends to view kids. In America, we totally revere and respect our children - recognizing that they're the future leaders, and recognizing a need to protect their innocence and childhood. For us, childhood is precious. I think some parents feel that way in Haiti, but others just view their children as an investment. It's very sad.
I don't know... they live such unstable lives. I know I keep on writing about instability... but I think that's what haunts me the most. They live in tents, many do not know their fathers, food and water are scarce, they sleep on blankets on the ground, they have to shower while standing in buckets in open spaces, they go to school now but don't know if their parent(s) will be able to afford it next year, etc. I think if I were in their situations I would be terrified. I would feel like my privacy was completely gone. I would feel alone. I would be angry at God.
I suppose that's also why I'm constantly inspired by these kids. They're still able to find joy. They don't feel alone but instead have formed a new community amongst themselves. The privacy issue doesn't seem to bother them that much. And as for being angry with God... well, two Sunday's ago when I went to Freres Church Stanley, Robenson, and Son-Son all came on their own. Without parents, and after the music just to hear the sermon. I was so... blessed to see that. They were building a relationship with God, on their own initiative, when (in my opinion) they should be mad at God. How amazing!
For now, though, I'm going to sign off and head to bed. I've been running things by myself because both Mike and Doug are on vacation back in the States so I'm one tired lady! Luckily, though, Mike comes back tomorrow so hopefully things will be less stressful/crazy. I hope you're all well!
Beth
P.S. I have a video of my boys here. It's a birthday message to Bryan, but you still get to see them and hear their voices.
P.P.S. In the midst of writing this blog I received a phone call telling me that I have enough funds pledged to move forward with plans to stay in Haiti. However, I'm still raising some funds for plane ticket, (maybe) health insurance, stipend, and a fund to help provide for specific needs that I see - new shoes for the boys, food, a new uniform, etc. If you would like to be a part of this, please let me know! :)
The daily routine for my boys goes something like this. They wake up nice and early, generally around 5:30 I'm guessing and either hang out at their tent or come by my door to say hello and tell me good morning. After that they either go to school or hang out for a while. Most go to school in the mornings, but some go in the afternoon. All kids in Haiti go for either the morning or afternoon, though. I believe it's generally from 8-12 or 1-4. Some schools (the nicer, more expensive ones) are longer. The vast majority of my boys do not go to these schools. After that they start coming around the Guest House by 2, 3, or 4 p.m. It's very rare if we don't see them before dinner. Some boys aren't around that often, and other boys are around all the time - I think this depends a great amount on family life. I think it also depends on the type of relationship they've built with me, Paste Mike, and Bryan.
Some are fairly rich (by Haitian standards) and some are definitely poor. Stanley and his sister Carly are among the fairly rich ones. They always have nicer clothes, nothing with rips or holes, they've received a noticeably better education than the others, and he's never hungry when the others are starving. It is also obvious that Stanley's mom has a fairly large role in his life and works hard to take good care of him.
Most of my boys are on the poorer spectrum, though. They all go to school, but a good portion of them have holes in their uniforms - which tells me they don't go to a very nice school. The nicer schools won't allow you to attend class if your uniform is dirty or messed up. Also, the others are always asking for things - money, food, water, new shoes, etc. This is (rather obviously) because their parent(s) cannot afford most of these things.
Most of their family lives seem fairly unstable. I found out from Robenson yesterday that he, his brother Peter, and his sister Amanda, have three different last names. Amanda is a baby and I have never seen her father around. I've met Robenson's mother several times, though. I've also been in their tent... there isn't much in there. Just a few pots and pans, some blankets to sleep on, and some clothes. I don't know what Robenson's mom does for a living, but she provides what she can somehow. Actually, she seems to be one of the better mothers. Her two boys are always sweet, joyful, and don't ask for anything unless they really need it. It is obvious that they have been given a lot of love and attention.
The others, though, probably do not get much love or attention at home at all. I think that's why they like hanging around the Guest House so much. We pay attention to them, we give them hugs, we provide for them when we can, and we laugh with them. I know that they receive much joy from their relationship with us. I often reflect on how lucky they are to be in our tent city. I don't imagine that many other tent cities have a Paste Mike or a Beth. I am equally lucky, though. I am so blessed to have many bright, bubbly, loving, lovable boys in my life. I just wish some of their parents would recognize them for the true gems that they are.
That's what's so difficult in Haiti. There is no social security here (as far as I can tell) and so adults almost need to have children so there will be people to look after them when they get older. However, until they become adults, children are often times a great burden for parents. They can be quite expensive to care for, especially if you send them to school. Peterson was telling me today that his secondary school costs approximately $1000 US per year. (And he doesn't even go to one of the really nice schools.)
It's just sad in general how Haiti tends to view kids. In America, we totally revere and respect our children - recognizing that they're the future leaders, and recognizing a need to protect their innocence and childhood. For us, childhood is precious. I think some parents feel that way in Haiti, but others just view their children as an investment. It's very sad.
I don't know... they live such unstable lives. I know I keep on writing about instability... but I think that's what haunts me the most. They live in tents, many do not know their fathers, food and water are scarce, they sleep on blankets on the ground, they have to shower while standing in buckets in open spaces, they go to school now but don't know if their parent(s) will be able to afford it next year, etc. I think if I were in their situations I would be terrified. I would feel like my privacy was completely gone. I would feel alone. I would be angry at God.
I suppose that's also why I'm constantly inspired by these kids. They're still able to find joy. They don't feel alone but instead have formed a new community amongst themselves. The privacy issue doesn't seem to bother them that much. And as for being angry with God... well, two Sunday's ago when I went to Freres Church Stanley, Robenson, and Son-Son all came on their own. Without parents, and after the music just to hear the sermon. I was so... blessed to see that. They were building a relationship with God, on their own initiative, when (in my opinion) they should be mad at God. How amazing!
For now, though, I'm going to sign off and head to bed. I've been running things by myself because both Mike and Doug are on vacation back in the States so I'm one tired lady! Luckily, though, Mike comes back tomorrow so hopefully things will be less stressful/crazy. I hope you're all well!
Beth
P.S. I have a video of my boys here. It's a birthday message to Bryan, but you still get to see them and hear their voices.
P.P.S. In the midst of writing this blog I received a phone call telling me that I have enough funds pledged to move forward with plans to stay in Haiti. However, I'm still raising some funds for plane ticket, (maybe) health insurance, stipend, and a fund to help provide for specific needs that I see - new shoes for the boys, food, a new uniform, etc. If you would like to be a part of this, please let me know! :)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Photos
My mom suggested that I upload some recent photos of the boys with some of the goodies she recently sent for me to give to them. Here are some of my favorites. :)
P.S. If you would like to support me staying in Haiti, my e-mail is bethisinchina@yahoo.com. If you want more information about it, please read the blog entry below this one. :)
With their harmonicas :)
A desin party (desin = draw)
Ballin'
Adorable.
Proud artists
I hope you enjoyed the photos of these precious faces!
Beth
P.S. If you would like to support me staying in Haiti, my e-mail is bethisinchina@yahoo.com. If you want more information about it, please read the blog entry below this one. :)
With their harmonicas :)
A desin party (desin = draw)
Ballin'
Adorable.
Proud artists
I hope you enjoyed the photos of these precious faces!
Beth
Monday, July 12, 2010
Announcement
Dear friends, family, and new acquaintances,
The past 6 weeks have been some of the most amazing of my entire life. I expected to come to Haiti and have a life-changing experience, but a difficult one at the same time. I didn’t expect to fall in love with this country and the beautiful people I have met here. I have made incredible friendships, learned so much about life, ministry, and culture, and I have been able to help the people of Haiti heal in real and tangible ways. It has been such a blessing to be here.
Although my plans were for me to return in 2 weeks and prepare to enter seminary, I have felt a voice (could it be God?) saying to me, “Your work here is not done. There is more for you to do before you go home." Through much prayer and conversation with mentors, I have discerned that God may indeed be calling me to continue my work here in Haiti for another 3 months. I chose the 3 month time frame because that is the length of time I can spend here without a visa. Also, more importantly, that would give me a chance to be a stable presence here at the Guest House for my boys through the fall, and it would allow me to return home and work for 8 months until I entered seminary in the fall of 2011. Brite Divinity School has said that they will hold my scholarship for another year.
If I stay, I will be able to continue to help the UMVIM Haiti program with various administrative, hospitality, and communications needs. I will also be able to continue work with my boys – being a loving presence - the hands and feet of Jesus - in their lives. Beyond that, I will be able to continue assisting with the various English classes and tutoring I’ve been involved in. Lastly, I will be able to strengthen the relationships I have already built. This is important because, beyond friendship, I have become a trusted ally, someone whom they can share their stories of great loss with. I would be honored to continue to serve and to love in Haiti.
While I feel God calling me to stay here, the biggest hurdle to overcome is finding the financial resources to allow me to continue my mission work. Fortuantely, the staff at the Guest House wants me to stay so much that they've offered to give me room and board for half the usual rate. But still, with airfare, medication/supplies, cell phone expenses, laundry, tips, etc, the cost to stay for 3 more months will be $3500. Surprisingly, without even trying to raise money yet, I have already received pledges for $1100! But I still need to find the remaining $2400.
Many of you have already given generously to support my current mission here, and for that I am so grateful. But if God is nudging you to give further support so that I may continue to be not only Christ's hands and feet but your hands and feet in Haiti, will you please send me an email and let me know what you will be able to give? My e-mail is bethisinchina@yahoo.com. However, I do probably need to hear from you in the next week so I can make the final decision and tell Brite in a timely manner if I will be attending in August or not.
If this is truly God's idea, then I am trusting God to provide the resources. Either way, I will fly home in 2 weeks to spend time with my family and take a vacation with them. If I am able to return, I will fly back to Haiti and be here from Aug. 12 - Nov. 10.
Regardless of which path God sets before me, I want to thank you so much for your prayers and support while I have been here. I have been amazed at the response my blog has received as well as the sheer amount of people who opened up their wallets to send me here this first time. As I’ve said over and over – I am a truly blessed woman.
Thank you again for your constant prayers, love, and general support,
Beth
The past 6 weeks have been some of the most amazing of my entire life. I expected to come to Haiti and have a life-changing experience, but a difficult one at the same time. I didn’t expect to fall in love with this country and the beautiful people I have met here. I have made incredible friendships, learned so much about life, ministry, and culture, and I have been able to help the people of Haiti heal in real and tangible ways. It has been such a blessing to be here.
Although my plans were for me to return in 2 weeks and prepare to enter seminary, I have felt a voice (could it be God?) saying to me, “Your work here is not done. There is more for you to do before you go home." Through much prayer and conversation with mentors, I have discerned that God may indeed be calling me to continue my work here in Haiti for another 3 months. I chose the 3 month time frame because that is the length of time I can spend here without a visa. Also, more importantly, that would give me a chance to be a stable presence here at the Guest House for my boys through the fall, and it would allow me to return home and work for 8 months until I entered seminary in the fall of 2011. Brite Divinity School has said that they will hold my scholarship for another year.
If I stay, I will be able to continue to help the UMVIM Haiti program with various administrative, hospitality, and communications needs. I will also be able to continue work with my boys – being a loving presence - the hands and feet of Jesus - in their lives. Beyond that, I will be able to continue assisting with the various English classes and tutoring I’ve been involved in. Lastly, I will be able to strengthen the relationships I have already built. This is important because, beyond friendship, I have become a trusted ally, someone whom they can share their stories of great loss with. I would be honored to continue to serve and to love in Haiti.
While I feel God calling me to stay here, the biggest hurdle to overcome is finding the financial resources to allow me to continue my mission work. Fortuantely, the staff at the Guest House wants me to stay so much that they've offered to give me room and board for half the usual rate. But still, with airfare, medication/supplies, cell phone expenses, laundry, tips, etc, the cost to stay for 3 more months will be $3500. Surprisingly, without even trying to raise money yet, I have already received pledges for $1100! But I still need to find the remaining $2400.
Many of you have already given generously to support my current mission here, and for that I am so grateful. But if God is nudging you to give further support so that I may continue to be not only Christ's hands and feet but your hands and feet in Haiti, will you please send me an email and let me know what you will be able to give? My e-mail is bethisinchina@yahoo.com. However, I do probably need to hear from you in the next week so I can make the final decision and tell Brite in a timely manner if I will be attending in August or not.
If this is truly God's idea, then I am trusting God to provide the resources. Either way, I will fly home in 2 weeks to spend time with my family and take a vacation with them. If I am able to return, I will fly back to Haiti and be here from Aug. 12 - Nov. 10.
Regardless of which path God sets before me, I want to thank you so much for your prayers and support while I have been here. I have been amazed at the response my blog has received as well as the sheer amount of people who opened up their wallets to send me here this first time. As I’ve said over and over – I am a truly blessed woman.
Thank you again for your constant prayers, love, and general support,
Beth
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Orphan
So I don't usually update two days in a row, but today I hit a tough moment.
The day started off wonderfully. Peterson and I went to his school and I met another English class. The principal of the school was very excited to see me and sat down to talk to me for a long time. They made me promise to come back again next Saturday to help students. They weren't planning on me coming today so there wasn't much I could help with today, but next Saturday is bound to be an experience. However, it was hilarious that I was asked twice if I was married and once if I had a boyfriend. When I responded "no" to the boyfriend question one of the men in the class responded, "I will be your boyfriend." Too funny.
After that we went to the Epid'or for lunch and apparently a famous person was sitting right next to us. He was a white guy with long hair and Peterson told me that he's a singer in a band that performs Voodoo songs. He's a well-known guy in Haiti I suppose. Weird.
Around 3 Johnny (our driver) and I departed for the airport to pick up the COR team. We arrived early so we just hung out in the tap-tap as we awaited the team's arrival. This is when the "moment" happened.
I remember that on the first night I was in Haiti I was talking to my mom online. I was crying remarking on how difficult the next two months would probably be. (Now, I realize I was crazy for worrying - but that's how I was feeling at the time.) During that conversation my mom said, "Well, Beth, you may feel the need to just sit down and cry every night. There may be things that you see and experience that you won't have any other response to but to sit and weep. And that's okay." Although I haven't had many times where I had no other response but tears, today I did.
At the airport, you are constantly accosted by people for money. Many people beg outside the gate of the airport asking for just a little bit of lajan (money.) I don't even bring money to the airport anymore because then I'm not lying when I say "M pa gen lajan." (I don't have any money.) I'm just so used to responding in that way that I often don't even pay attention to the people asking anymore.
Today a boy, around age 14, came to my window while I was sitting in the tap-tap and said, "Madam, please read this." He then put a piece of paper on the window for me to read. I read the first three sentences, "I am an orphan. My mom died in the earthquake. I sleep on the street." I didn't even finish the piece of paper before responding with "M pa gen lajan." It may sound heartless, but like I have explained so many times - the kids begging for money are often trafficked kids. The trafficker will have them tell any story to get white people to donate money and then the money doesn't even go towards the child but helps the trafficker to continue his profession. If I have water available or food on me, I always give that - but I never give money.
However, as soon as I said, "M pa gen lajan," the boy looked sad and a confused. He shook his head, "No money, madam. Read." That threw me off - a child telling me their sad story but not wanting money? I looked at the bottom of his sheet. It read: Please adopt me.
"Ohh," I replied, "You want adoption?" He shook his head excitedly and proceeded to pull out his birth certificate and a photo page of his kindergarten graduation. He had the birth certificate to show that he had documentation. I think he had the graduation photos to show what his life once was and probably also to illustrate how he would like to continue his education.
Johnny asked him a few more questions and found out that his dad had died before the earthquake and his mother died during the earthquake. Now he lives on the street and does not go to school. More than anything he'd like to be adopted and cared for. He did not want a temporary solution (money) but a permanent one.
I told Johnny that I would love to help - but I'm too young to be a full time caretaker of a 14 year old boy. Besides that, I don't have the money and it would still probably take me 2 years to fully adopt him. Johnny explained all of this to the boy and he looked crushed, but just responded with, "Okay. Mesi, madam." After that he retreated to a median nearby, sat down, and started weeping.
There are so many reasons why I wanted to help this boy. First of all, to be 14 and alone is heartbreaking. No brothers or sisters even. It's just him. Second of all, I really sympathized for his deep desire for his life of inconsistency and tough situations to end. He just wants some stability, comfort, and love. Third, he is an at-risk boy. If a good family does not get a hold of him - someone else will. He could become a victim of sex trafficking, labor trafficking, or he could easily end up a restavek. It broke my heart that he was trying so desperately to not end up a victim and get on the road to a healthy, full life - but there was nothing I could do.
When he walked away and started weeping I started to become more desperate - raking my brain trying to think of an orphanage or other safe place the boy could stay and would be cared for. Unfortunately, though, every orphanage that I could think of is full and would not have the resources or space to take him in. Instead of helping, I had to sit and watch as he lost hope, once again.
I couldn't help it. My eyes welled up. They well up now just thinking about it. I so hate these moments when you feel so compelled to do something - anything - and yet you cannot. This situation was the worst I have encountered yet, though. I think mostly because I know that tonight I will get a full meal, sleep in a comfortable bed, and I will continue to lead a fairly comfortable life until I die most likely. He, however, will go to the streets, not eat, sleep on concrete, and continue to lead a life that is one big question mark.
Please say a special prayer for this young man tonight. Pray that he may find someone to give him the proper care, love, and attention that he needs. After that, thank God for stability. It is more of a luxury than we often care to realize.
Sending love your way,
Beth
The day started off wonderfully. Peterson and I went to his school and I met another English class. The principal of the school was very excited to see me and sat down to talk to me for a long time. They made me promise to come back again next Saturday to help students. They weren't planning on me coming today so there wasn't much I could help with today, but next Saturday is bound to be an experience. However, it was hilarious that I was asked twice if I was married and once if I had a boyfriend. When I responded "no" to the boyfriend question one of the men in the class responded, "I will be your boyfriend." Too funny.
After that we went to the Epid'or for lunch and apparently a famous person was sitting right next to us. He was a white guy with long hair and Peterson told me that he's a singer in a band that performs Voodoo songs. He's a well-known guy in Haiti I suppose. Weird.
Around 3 Johnny (our driver) and I departed for the airport to pick up the COR team. We arrived early so we just hung out in the tap-tap as we awaited the team's arrival. This is when the "moment" happened.
I remember that on the first night I was in Haiti I was talking to my mom online. I was crying remarking on how difficult the next two months would probably be. (Now, I realize I was crazy for worrying - but that's how I was feeling at the time.) During that conversation my mom said, "Well, Beth, you may feel the need to just sit down and cry every night. There may be things that you see and experience that you won't have any other response to but to sit and weep. And that's okay." Although I haven't had many times where I had no other response but tears, today I did.
At the airport, you are constantly accosted by people for money. Many people beg outside the gate of the airport asking for just a little bit of lajan (money.) I don't even bring money to the airport anymore because then I'm not lying when I say "M pa gen lajan." (I don't have any money.) I'm just so used to responding in that way that I often don't even pay attention to the people asking anymore.
Today a boy, around age 14, came to my window while I was sitting in the tap-tap and said, "Madam, please read this." He then put a piece of paper on the window for me to read. I read the first three sentences, "I am an orphan. My mom died in the earthquake. I sleep on the street." I didn't even finish the piece of paper before responding with "M pa gen lajan." It may sound heartless, but like I have explained so many times - the kids begging for money are often trafficked kids. The trafficker will have them tell any story to get white people to donate money and then the money doesn't even go towards the child but helps the trafficker to continue his profession. If I have water available or food on me, I always give that - but I never give money.
However, as soon as I said, "M pa gen lajan," the boy looked sad and a confused. He shook his head, "No money, madam. Read." That threw me off - a child telling me their sad story but not wanting money? I looked at the bottom of his sheet. It read: Please adopt me.
"Ohh," I replied, "You want adoption?" He shook his head excitedly and proceeded to pull out his birth certificate and a photo page of his kindergarten graduation. He had the birth certificate to show that he had documentation. I think he had the graduation photos to show what his life once was and probably also to illustrate how he would like to continue his education.
Johnny asked him a few more questions and found out that his dad had died before the earthquake and his mother died during the earthquake. Now he lives on the street and does not go to school. More than anything he'd like to be adopted and cared for. He did not want a temporary solution (money) but a permanent one.
I told Johnny that I would love to help - but I'm too young to be a full time caretaker of a 14 year old boy. Besides that, I don't have the money and it would still probably take me 2 years to fully adopt him. Johnny explained all of this to the boy and he looked crushed, but just responded with, "Okay. Mesi, madam." After that he retreated to a median nearby, sat down, and started weeping.
There are so many reasons why I wanted to help this boy. First of all, to be 14 and alone is heartbreaking. No brothers or sisters even. It's just him. Second of all, I really sympathized for his deep desire for his life of inconsistency and tough situations to end. He just wants some stability, comfort, and love. Third, he is an at-risk boy. If a good family does not get a hold of him - someone else will. He could become a victim of sex trafficking, labor trafficking, or he could easily end up a restavek. It broke my heart that he was trying so desperately to not end up a victim and get on the road to a healthy, full life - but there was nothing I could do.
When he walked away and started weeping I started to become more desperate - raking my brain trying to think of an orphanage or other safe place the boy could stay and would be cared for. Unfortunately, though, every orphanage that I could think of is full and would not have the resources or space to take him in. Instead of helping, I had to sit and watch as he lost hope, once again.
I couldn't help it. My eyes welled up. They well up now just thinking about it. I so hate these moments when you feel so compelled to do something - anything - and yet you cannot. This situation was the worst I have encountered yet, though. I think mostly because I know that tonight I will get a full meal, sleep in a comfortable bed, and I will continue to lead a fairly comfortable life until I die most likely. He, however, will go to the streets, not eat, sleep on concrete, and continue to lead a life that is one big question mark.
Please say a special prayer for this young man tonight. Pray that he may find someone to give him the proper care, love, and attention that he needs. After that, thank God for stability. It is more of a luxury than we often care to realize.
Sending love your way,
Beth
Friday, July 9, 2010
Aftermath
I feel like a lot has happened in these past few days and at the same time - nothing at all.
Yesterday I went with Oge to pick up a group at Furcy - which is a town about 45 minutes up the mountain past the Baptist Mission. (Also, we apparently passed the President on the road there because he lives near the Baptist Mission. We know we did because there was police everywhere directing traffic. I wanted to wave, but Oge said that would be a bad idea.) Since we were headed that way anyway, Oge and I left a bit early and drove to the lookout at the top of one of the mountains. It was GORGEOUS. You could see all of Port-au-Prince, Carrefour, and Petionville. Very, VERY cool. I'll post pics at some point in time. However, it was a bit cloudy so some of the photos didn't turn out well. But seriously - you could see everything. The National Palace, the Digicel building, etc. Awesome.
Also, Oge and I went to his land where he is in the process of building a home for him and his family. So far he only has a foundation built and some rebar towers for wall support. I'm guessing it will take quite some time to finish because building materials in Haiti are so expensive right now. However, the land is GORGEOUS. He's up a bit past the Baptist Mission so it's filled with green grass. Also, it's nice and cool up there. I'm excited to come visit him some day when it's complete!
After that, we picked up the group in Furcy. It was really funny because some of the guys there came over and started talking to me right away and even though they had just known me for 5 minutes - they all wanted pictures with me and remembered my name. They were nice guys, though, and so it was fun.
We ate lunch at the Baptist Mission and then came back to the Guest House. That night at dinner, Wendy and Tom (the leaders of the Furcy team) started talking about their memories from the earthquake as they were staying at the Guest House when it happened. It was crazy hearing their memories. They shared that one of their biggest concerns was standing over the cistern while the earthquake was happening because they didn't want the earth to split there and them to fall into it. Also, apparently Donette was a mess after it and Wendy was explaining that consoling Donette was one of the things that helped to calm her. She had to be strong for someone else and that helped her to stay collected and not fall apart. Absolutely unimaginable hearing their stories.
Today was filled with more interesting moments. I went with Oge to drop off the Furcy team at the airport and then we went to an artisan shop nearby so I could look for a cloth to give as a gift. I didn't find the cloth, but the prices there were CHEAP so I was able to get a few other gifts for folks on my list. Awesome. However, there was another crazy guy experience today. While we were driving to the airport I was sitting in the front seat with Oge. A man crossed in front of us but instead of going all the way to the other side of the street he came and stood right by my window and stared at me. It was really strange. He didn't talk to me, or ask me for money or anything... he just stood there and stared at me until the light turned green and we drove off. It was creepy.
However, Oge has become like the older brother I never had and I knew that he was keeping a close eye on the man. I wasn't too scared it was just... creepy. Especially with the crazy guy kissing me just a few days ago! Things like this only seem to happen to me. There was a whole van full of white people but this guy just wanted to stare at me. So weird. I do think it spooked Oge a bit, though, because after we dropped the team off he told me to roll up my window halfway. I said, "You're scared for me, aren't you?" And he said, "No... well, maybe a little bit." Haha. At least I know I'm in good hands.
I also got to hear more stories of Oge's experience with the earthquake at lunch today. It's obvious that he doesn't get to talk about it that much and sometimes it's just... necessary. Although I already knew about what happened to him when the earthquake hit I did not know what happened afterwards. I found out that he did not have a place to stay because the house he was living in fell down. He was able to get most of his stuff - but the house was unlivable. Therefore, he slept in one of the trucks at the Guest House. His family came and stayed on the back lawn of the Guest House. The only reason why he didn't sleep back there with them is because he wanted to create more space for others. He said that on that first night there were 150 people just sleeping on the ground wherever they could find space. Apparently, that's how our tent city was originally formed - from people who came to find safety and rest on that first night.
He told me that he slept in that truck for about 3 months. He moved into the house he's living in now a week before I arrived in Haiti. During that time, his wife, daughter, and mother-in-law stayed with his sister's family in a city that wasn't really affected by the quake.
The Guest House ended up running out of food 3 or 4 days after the quake and it was very difficult to find food. All the grocery stores closed and there were a few folks selling food on the streets but it became very expensive because it was in such high demand. It was also difficult to find drinkable water. Luckily, it is not difficult to find food or water now - but for at least a week after the quake those things were in low quantity and high demand.
Oge also told me about how you could hear people all over the city screaming for help that were trapped in the rubble. He noted that was the hardest part. Hearing their screams, knowing they were alive, and yet not being able to do anything. He said, "It's just you - you don't have any heavy machinery, you can't move those big boulders and so the people just stay there. It's very difficult listening to someone dying and wishing you could help, but you just can't get to them." I almost burst into tears at the lunch table thinking about that. I can't imagine walking past a building hearing people screaming for help. I am certain that some of those screams still haunt Oge. I'm sure those screams still haunt many Haitian people. Wow.
I had more to say but I think that's where it needs to end tonight. I know that when the earthquake hit we knew there was a great need for food, water, and medical attention. We also knew that it was an unsafe place for kids as kidnappings were high. What we didn't really hear about (or at least, what I didn't hear that much about) was how people were continuing to cope with the situation. I mean, Oge lived in a truck for 3 months - separated from his family. Most Haitians are dealing with some PTSD and there is almost no counseling available to help deal with that. They have seen dead people being burned in the middle of the streets, heard the voices of people trapped underneath rubble, and lost friends, family members, and folks they saw every day. I have no idea how they are so strong even after experiencing all of that. I just don't understand it.
Haitians are a special kind of people. God has blessed them and cared for them in some incredible, awesome ways. I am so thankful and glad to participate in God's great plan of healing for Haiti.
Love to you and you and you and you,
Beth
Yesterday I went with Oge to pick up a group at Furcy - which is a town about 45 minutes up the mountain past the Baptist Mission. (Also, we apparently passed the President on the road there because he lives near the Baptist Mission. We know we did because there was police everywhere directing traffic. I wanted to wave, but Oge said that would be a bad idea.) Since we were headed that way anyway, Oge and I left a bit early and drove to the lookout at the top of one of the mountains. It was GORGEOUS. You could see all of Port-au-Prince, Carrefour, and Petionville. Very, VERY cool. I'll post pics at some point in time. However, it was a bit cloudy so some of the photos didn't turn out well. But seriously - you could see everything. The National Palace, the Digicel building, etc. Awesome.
Also, Oge and I went to his land where he is in the process of building a home for him and his family. So far he only has a foundation built and some rebar towers for wall support. I'm guessing it will take quite some time to finish because building materials in Haiti are so expensive right now. However, the land is GORGEOUS. He's up a bit past the Baptist Mission so it's filled with green grass. Also, it's nice and cool up there. I'm excited to come visit him some day when it's complete!
After that, we picked up the group in Furcy. It was really funny because some of the guys there came over and started talking to me right away and even though they had just known me for 5 minutes - they all wanted pictures with me and remembered my name. They were nice guys, though, and so it was fun.
We ate lunch at the Baptist Mission and then came back to the Guest House. That night at dinner, Wendy and Tom (the leaders of the Furcy team) started talking about their memories from the earthquake as they were staying at the Guest House when it happened. It was crazy hearing their memories. They shared that one of their biggest concerns was standing over the cistern while the earthquake was happening because they didn't want the earth to split there and them to fall into it. Also, apparently Donette was a mess after it and Wendy was explaining that consoling Donette was one of the things that helped to calm her. She had to be strong for someone else and that helped her to stay collected and not fall apart. Absolutely unimaginable hearing their stories.
Today was filled with more interesting moments. I went with Oge to drop off the Furcy team at the airport and then we went to an artisan shop nearby so I could look for a cloth to give as a gift. I didn't find the cloth, but the prices there were CHEAP so I was able to get a few other gifts for folks on my list. Awesome. However, there was another crazy guy experience today. While we were driving to the airport I was sitting in the front seat with Oge. A man crossed in front of us but instead of going all the way to the other side of the street he came and stood right by my window and stared at me. It was really strange. He didn't talk to me, or ask me for money or anything... he just stood there and stared at me until the light turned green and we drove off. It was creepy.
However, Oge has become like the older brother I never had and I knew that he was keeping a close eye on the man. I wasn't too scared it was just... creepy. Especially with the crazy guy kissing me just a few days ago! Things like this only seem to happen to me. There was a whole van full of white people but this guy just wanted to stare at me. So weird. I do think it spooked Oge a bit, though, because after we dropped the team off he told me to roll up my window halfway. I said, "You're scared for me, aren't you?" And he said, "No... well, maybe a little bit." Haha. At least I know I'm in good hands.
I also got to hear more stories of Oge's experience with the earthquake at lunch today. It's obvious that he doesn't get to talk about it that much and sometimes it's just... necessary. Although I already knew about what happened to him when the earthquake hit I did not know what happened afterwards. I found out that he did not have a place to stay because the house he was living in fell down. He was able to get most of his stuff - but the house was unlivable. Therefore, he slept in one of the trucks at the Guest House. His family came and stayed on the back lawn of the Guest House. The only reason why he didn't sleep back there with them is because he wanted to create more space for others. He said that on that first night there were 150 people just sleeping on the ground wherever they could find space. Apparently, that's how our tent city was originally formed - from people who came to find safety and rest on that first night.
He told me that he slept in that truck for about 3 months. He moved into the house he's living in now a week before I arrived in Haiti. During that time, his wife, daughter, and mother-in-law stayed with his sister's family in a city that wasn't really affected by the quake.
The Guest House ended up running out of food 3 or 4 days after the quake and it was very difficult to find food. All the grocery stores closed and there were a few folks selling food on the streets but it became very expensive because it was in such high demand. It was also difficult to find drinkable water. Luckily, it is not difficult to find food or water now - but for at least a week after the quake those things were in low quantity and high demand.
Oge also told me about how you could hear people all over the city screaming for help that were trapped in the rubble. He noted that was the hardest part. Hearing their screams, knowing they were alive, and yet not being able to do anything. He said, "It's just you - you don't have any heavy machinery, you can't move those big boulders and so the people just stay there. It's very difficult listening to someone dying and wishing you could help, but you just can't get to them." I almost burst into tears at the lunch table thinking about that. I can't imagine walking past a building hearing people screaming for help. I am certain that some of those screams still haunt Oge. I'm sure those screams still haunt many Haitian people. Wow.
I had more to say but I think that's where it needs to end tonight. I know that when the earthquake hit we knew there was a great need for food, water, and medical attention. We also knew that it was an unsafe place for kids as kidnappings were high. What we didn't really hear about (or at least, what I didn't hear that much about) was how people were continuing to cope with the situation. I mean, Oge lived in a truck for 3 months - separated from his family. Most Haitians are dealing with some PTSD and there is almost no counseling available to help deal with that. They have seen dead people being burned in the middle of the streets, heard the voices of people trapped underneath rubble, and lost friends, family members, and folks they saw every day. I have no idea how they are so strong even after experiencing all of that. I just don't understand it.
Haitians are a special kind of people. God has blessed them and cared for them in some incredible, awesome ways. I am so thankful and glad to participate in God's great plan of healing for Haiti.
Love to you and you and you and you,
Beth
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