Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Preparing to say goodbye

Today was... strange.

On all the other days that I was here I had a certain glow about me.  I was back in "my country" with the people I love in the place I know as my second home.  I was happy.  Incredibly, incredibly happy.

But today, a certain funk fell over me.  The funk of knowing that I would be leaving tomorrow and there was nothing I could do about it.  Not that I don't have people and things to look forward to in Fort Worth - I do.  It's just not here. I don't know how to explain it fully. I don't know if I ever could explain it fully unless you saw how I am when I am here with you own eyes.  I am alive.  I am free.  I am plugged into my deepest passions.  Although there are certain luxuries that you live without, there is much joy here.

Tomorrow will be incredibly difficult.  At 6:30 a.m. I will hug all of my Guest House friends and say "au revoir."  At 7 a.m. I will load into one of the Guest House vehicles and ride to the airport with Oge.  And at 7:30 a.m. I will give Oge a hug goodbye and walk into the American Airlines terminal.  I will cry.  I will probably cry a lot.  Leaving half of your heart behind is a difficult thing to do.

But!  Because so much was accomplished towards moving Bracelets of Blessing forward on this trip I am hopeful that another visit will be needed before the end of 2012.  I am crossing my fingers and praying fervently that I might be able to make it back in December of 2012 to help with the transition into the new program.  I don't think I could go another year without getting to Haiti again - both for the sake of my soul and for the true establishment of Bracelets of Blessing.

So anyway, because of the funk I was in, today just felt a bit off.  Even Oge kept on saying, "You're leaving tomorrow.  I can't believe that.  This visit was too quick."  Too quick, indeed.  But this morning we had the opportunity to visit La Tremblay church and that was wonderful.  La Tremblay was opened about two months before I left and I had a hand in preparing it to be ready for teams and such.  I feel connected to that site quite a bit.  I also got the opportunity to visit it in October so I was so excited to see the progress now - a little over one year after it had begun.

It was a great sight.  If I come to visit in December I think it will be fully completed by then, which is great news.  This congregation has been worshiping underneath a big tree, rain or shine, since the earthquake.  What a wonderful blessing for them to be able to worship in a building again!  And a safe one at that!  I'm excited for them and for the day that I'll be able to see the building completed.

Beyond that, it was a pretty quiet day.  Oge and I picked up a team from the Baptist Mission, too, and ate lunch at the Epi d'or, but that was about it.  I also got to catch up with Tom a bit tonight which was fun to hear all the stories from the past few months as well as catch up on what TV the crew here had been watching. :)  Just kind of a poze day... which is probably appropriate as the other days seem to have been go-go-go.

And with that... I better sign off.  Time to get some rest and prepare for a long day of travel tomorrow.  Sending love to all of you.  And to you, Ayiti cherie.  Mwen renmen ou anpil.


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